Pity Party

I have always been one to throw myself a pity party. I get down in the dumps really easily and I tend to stay there. I know I have the ability to pick myself up and push through it, but most of the time I let it engulf me and then hours worth or days worth of a mixture of depression and anger ensues. I've always had trouble with feeling depressed and over the past 2 years I've really worked hard at combatting it, but this summer I've only backtracked.

A lot of it has to do with the fact that I'm cooped up in my house for what feels like 24/7. Now I know you're going to say, why don't you go do something? Well you see, I really don't have many or any friends here in my home town cause I had a falling out with most of my friends my senior year in high school. This means when I come home, I really only hang out with my family. There's only so much I can take of my family before I feel like I'm going to go insane. I believe this is simply because I'm at that point in my life when I want to be my own person doing the thing I want to do, and like most parents they don't seem to see things they way I do. I've been hanging out with my family for the past 2 and a half months and I don't think I can take any more. I also have a lot of problems with anxiety and taking charge of things, not in a work sense, but more in a social sense. I've always social anxiety and that really affected me in high school and even my freshman year in college, although I do feel I've also come a long way. I also haven't had the money to go and do anything. I could seem to find a job this summer for the life of me, and believe me...I tried. I applied to at least 15 different places, had interviews for half of them and as soon as I told them it would only be a summer job they all said almost the exact same thing, "that's such a shame! If you were here through the fall we'd definitely hire you on the spot, but we're just not looking for summer help at this time". Try hearing that over and over! So now I'm penniless, friendless and bored out of my freaking mind. I'm itching to get back to College Station and get back to the friends that I made my freshman year and I'm anxious to make new friends. I definitely want to step even more out of my comfort zone my sophomore year and just let loose.

My first step in "getting out of my comfort zone" is rushing. Yes, I have chosen to rush this fall as a sophomore at A&M and I'm really excited about it! I had considered it before my freshman year but decided against it, and I'm glad I didn't rush then. I genuinely believe that I'm ready for it now though. Preparing for rush has kept me somewhat busy cause there is quite a bit that goes into it, but preparing for rush only goes so far before I'm bored again!

I've begun getting my apartment ready which is pretty exciting! I've gone DI-Wild! I went to my local Goodwill and purchased a few items that I plan to fix up and make pieces that will really make my room feel homey. I'll possibly post some tutorials on the projects that I'm doing! They're super cheap and really anyone could do them!

xoxo, Tay